I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize