Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
