He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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