This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
