Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
