You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The uberlube is also flammable
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
