Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
