Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
