honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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