I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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