So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
