There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
