I can text with my tongue
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it glows. i had to have it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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