AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
