Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize