Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think I am morally bankrupt
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
