Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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