When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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