i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
