went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
