thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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