If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
