Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
