You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
