Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
