Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize