so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize