dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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