just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
