I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
