drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
