After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
