I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
