I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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