I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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