He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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