Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Operation Purity has been aborted
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
