I bet he comes in French.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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