I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
