Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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