I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i out mim tonsoeep
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
