I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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