Small penises have feelings too.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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