writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
