I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
