I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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