also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
