On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
