im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
