it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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