Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
