good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize