I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
