Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
God I need to hump something, right now.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
