i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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