I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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