I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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