Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
