just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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