Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
