just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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