if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
