I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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