If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
